A Last Farewell

The last time I ever saw Brand was an echo of the flavor of our entire relationship. I had left Grandmother’s tutelage some time back and gone back into shadow. I wandered at random for a time on my way to Manhome where Grandmother wished me to go to hone skills she’d taught me.

I stopped in a pleasant place, full of shade and water and noisy brooks, and blissfully devoid of people. I lay down to rest by a pool near a waterfall. It was very peaceful and I found myself relaxing for the first time in what felt a long while.

I think I must have drowsed off, listening to the wind and water. I’ve always loved those sounds, and it seems somehow appropriate that they backdropped both the beginning and the end of the only love I’ve known.

The sound of wind chimes woke me to a rainbow shimmer and then Brand was there. A shadow crossed his face and he hesitated, but the storm passed and my Brand moved to sit quietly by my side. In silence, we gazed at the waterfall for a time, and then he spoke. His voice was his own, soft and shy.

"I’ve missed you," he said quietly. "It seems there’s no time anymore. No time left for either of us."

Something in his words rang true and I felt that familiar sense of doom settle itself around my heart. Wordlessly, I curled up against him, partly for comfort and partly to hide the tears I felt welling up.

Hesitantly, as always, he put his hand under my chin, lifting my eyes to his own. There was no trace of the Ice there, just a kindness that had become so rare. The tears streaked down my face, unstoppable, and my voice came in a broken whisper. Words I’d always wished I'd said far more often tumbled out before I could stop myself.

"I love you. I’ve always loved you."

There was a shimmering near his eye, a single tear almost too faint to catch, but the coldness stayed far away this time.

"I know" he whispered back, "and I you" I heard him say as he bent his lips to mine. That was the sweetest kiss I’ve ever known.

What began as an almost desperate, frantic lovemaking lost its frenetic pace as the afternoon waned. We played in the pool under the waterfall for a time to cool off, and eventually sundown found us gently entwined on the grassy bank.

A premonition, so sharp it burned, struck my as I lay there in Brand’s arms. I felt so strongly that this would be the last time we ever knew that feeling of peace and the thought brought tears to my eyes again. I felt his hand stroking my hair, ever so gently, and his voice was so soft.

"Are you alright? Is something wrong?"

Biting my lip, I shook my head against his shoulder, still crying softly.

"Shhhhh" he whispered into my hair. "It’ll be alright." We both knew it was a lie, but it was a pleasant one, and one easy to hold on to for now. I could almost feel him slipping away from me. I turned my face up to his again for a kiss that re-ignited our passion until the stars rose.

Lying on the bank later, he took my face into his hands, much of the hesitation gone. I was immediately wary.

"I have to go" he said, his voice a bit strained. "I’m sorry Celeste, but it’s time to go. Time, there’s never enough time for me". His eyes had a strange glint in the moonlight, and with a last bit of daring I leaned forward and gave him the lightest brush of a kiss. He accepted this almost warmly, but I could feel his inner turmoil.

"Go on then" I whispered, letting him go once again. A chill wind blew through my soul, as I felt that for some reason I should say goodbye. I just couldn’t, though.

He nodded briskly, and gathered his things. One last glance met mine in almost sorrow, a hand half raised towards me, and he was gone in another rainbow shimmer. I slept on the bank until the light of dawn seared my eyes, then gathered my things and continued toward Manhome, Brand held close in my heart.

This is the Brand I will always remember, the Brand I eternally mourn, and the Brand I shall eventually revenge. No one else can or will ever understand now, and I do not care. They will not know what I’ve lost, but they will be made to understand what they’ve cost me.

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