The Brigand Tale

Sharp as broken glass in my memory remains the one time there was violence between us. I can only suppose I pushed too hard, too long, or perhaps I ignored the warning signs I should have known so well. Or perhaps not. Maybe it never was in my control after all. I will never know if I could have changed things now, may you rot in the ten thousand hells of ten thousand worlds Caine. Don’t’ ever turn your back to me, Uncle dear. I’ve had more practice killing you…but I digress.

We rode out that day, Brand and I, on the pretense of some shopping I wished to do. Our frequent excursions drew tight, white-lipped glares from Fi these days, so I decided it best to come home with plenty of packages. If she had but a reason to suspect the truth, it would go badly for us both. Thankfully, we had done nothing to draw Grandfather’s attention…yet.

Crowds were sparse that day, and I purchased a few things quickly – enough to divert Fi. I was careful not to let Brand see me purchase two bolts of velvet, one in black and the other in a rich hunter green. I wanted to surprise him with a new tunic and jacket. I guess I was happy and not paying enough attention to have let down my guard so badly. And the wine at lunch surely didn’t help, fine vintage though it was. I didn’t notice how noncommittal he’d grown till far too late.

We rode down to the seaside after eating, for I loved the ocean. Brand followed my lead slowly. Jumping enthusiastically from my horse, I discarded my excess clothing, which is to say most of it, and dove into the water. Rising, I noted he was still standing on the shore, looking at me in a way that should have rang alarm bells, but I was too giddy to take note. In retrospect, so many things are clearer…

Playfully, I scooped up water and splashed him as I drew closer, intending to throw my arms around him and drag him into the fun. His lip curled in a vicious snarl; too late to check my momentum I saw him pull his arm back to strike.

Funny thing about the children of Amber – even the least warrior-like among them can deliver a blow that will kill a lesser creature. Fortunately, I too am a child of Amber.

Brand’s blow caught me across the side of the face and temple, and I could taste blood before I hit the sand. I was certain my lip was split, and I was contemplating the possibility of a concussion from the ringing in my ears when I heard the inarticulate howl behind me. Truly alarmed now, I spun to ward off the incoming attack only to see Brand fighting with himself. He had a dagger drawn, and before I could intercept him had stabbed himself in the right shoulder. In my mind flashed incongruous connections, that it was the hand he struck me with and also the hand he painted with when he did put image to paper. Horrified, I saw the dagger sink into the joint and Brand collapsed to his knees on the beach.

I was screaming when I reached him, blood running down my chin mixing with his blood in the sand. Strong he was, but I was desperate to keep him from injuring himself further. I struggled with him until he stopped fighting and he collapsed on me sobbing incoherently. My heart was broken at his pain, and I tried to comfort him as best I could. I wasn’t even angry about the blow, that was the funny thing, but I couldn’t convince him for a long time. It would be months before he would meet my eyes, at least as himself.

I tended to the shoulder as best I could, eventually using some of the green velvet to bind it up. Once he noticed what I was doing, started to ask where it came from, then realization must have struck him for he collapsed crying again. Never before, and never again, did I ever see him in such a state, and it shook me to the core.

Almost two and a half hours passed before when we rode into Castle Amber. The servants were alarmed, and it seemed only minutes before Gerard strode into the courtyard, serious and stern. He spared but a glance for the two of us, shook his head, and physically manhandled Brand to the infirmary. I started to wander off, dazed, but Gerard quickly dispelled any notions that I would escape his attentions as well so I followed meekly. I vaguely recall Flora holding one arm and murmuring platitudes and comforts. I suppose she was trying to help.

Brand mumbled deliriously several times that he didn’t mean it and it wasn’t his fault, and Gerard’s scowl deepened each time. His gaze reached me, and I could almost see the gears turning.

"You will explain to me what happened" he rumbled ominously. I nodded mutely, too dizzy and exhausted to argue. While I sat watching him tend Brand, I noticed Father slip into the room. He watched in silence for a long moment, pursed his lips thoughtfully, then left as quietly as he came. I worried about that for a long time, but a comment never was made.

When Brand was resting comfortably, Gerard turned to me. While he was seeing to my minor injuries (it was a fractured jaw and a minor concussion, I learned, not to mention a badly blacked eye. Not bad Brand, not bad) he tried to contain himself with difficulty. Finally, he exploded, "What the hell happened to you two?"

The wheels in my mind turned over and over, and went blank. I couldn’t think of a single thing. It was as if my brain had been frozen in ice. With a feeling of panic, I felt my lips moving and heard my voice telling some convincing tale about certain brigands, who had attacked us while we were out on a shopping expedition. They had hit me blindside, I told him, and I never saw it coming. When I came around, there was Brand knifed on the ground. I wasn’t really sure what had happened I assured him. I heard my voice go on to describe these brigands with the depth and accuracy I would expect from myself, and I could almost see them in my mind’s eye. I was terrified. When Gerard was finished his ministrations, he left us with the explicit instructions to "Stay and rest" and that he would be back. Brand was semi-conscious, and vacillated between overconfidence and apologies. I lay on my bed for some time, watching him with a growing sense of doom and horror. Neither Brand nor I ever mentioned the incident again.

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